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Should I publish this story?

4,039 RC1138Boss  3.9 years ago

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pVudNdfnQHcoIkIZnaq_0eeCcI8lAPreBbY-Sfc5L-c/edit

For those who don’t have docs here u go:

                                   DESCENT

‘Good morning passengers , we are about to depart for the 5:30am London to Birmingham flight. We hope you have a pleasant flight.

Like all flights, an air marshal was aboard the plane. Named Marshall, he served in Iraq and had never been the same since. Wearing colourful clothes (out of uniform) you wouldn’t think it would be him saving you. Feeling that if he cannot serve in the army he has to give back to the community in some way, instead of killing people on the ground, he saves them in the air. Back at the campus he was the best at everything and would always save the most people, earning him the nickname ‘Meerkat’.

The in flight snacks were coming through and once they finally reached Marshall he was calm and collected asking for a gin and tonic. The air hostess explained that she is going to serve everyone else before going to mix his drink. Ten minutes after she entered the brig, Marshall had become restless, so him being the polite man he was,he got up and asked someone else if they knew where the hostess named ‘Emily Brown’ had gone. After asking the crew and them not knowing where she was, he thought she must have just gone to the toilet. Strangely a man wearing no uniform emerged from the brig with an open tonic and offers it to him but Marshall refuses.
“Strange…” he thought.

Wanting a safe flight, he started asking the lady next to him questions-interrogating her so to speak.
“Leave me alone freak!” she spat before a handbag ricocheted off his face.
Feeling ashamed, he looked out the window. Suddenly, he heard a shrill scream. With a clenched fist, he glanced back and his partner wasn’t there. Only her hand bag and smeared lipstick over the seat…

He rose. His breathing became laboured. His voice, raspy. Walking down the aisle, he scanned the plane for her.She wasn't there.Where was she? Optimistic ,he strolled down aisle A to the bathroom. Hoping she had just needed the toilet, he waited outside to confront her and apologize. He was losing patience. With a lengthening queue, he knocked on the door and texted her.

He stood at the door waiting for her to come out. The crowd became increasingly annoyed, ordering him to “MOVE UP!” or “My son needs the toilet!”. Getting angry and stressed, he thumped the door one last time and he yelled, “BE QUIET!”. After erupting a crowd of mothers, he gave up and instead kept an eye on the door for her. Halfway through the flight, the queue to the toilet quietened down and he walked into it but no-one was there. The last man barged past Marshall and stayed in the toilet for the remainder of the flight. He didn't come out again...

Marshal’s heart pounded as he tried to understand what had happened to her. Suddenly, the seatbelt light flashed overhead. He glanced over at the light and his heart sank.
“Sorry everyone we have encountered some turbulence over Milton Keynes, please stay strapped in, enjoy the remaindaaaaraarra… stahsastshcht’” [static] static

Suddenly, everything turned to chaos. Even Marshal, who usually came across calm, looked distressed as he dashed towards the cockpit, clambering over screaming kids.
After arriving in the cockpit, no-one was there. Only the clothes and headsets of the pilots. Jumping into the pilot's seat, he desperately tried to gain control. 1000 feet, 900 feet, 700 feet, he felt helpless. In a frantic attempt to keep the passengers safe, he found himself twisting and tampering with every knob and button. It was clear he had no idea what to do. Thankfully, just in the knick of time, the man who had offered Marshal the tonic earlier came to the rescue. He announced, “I can fly!”. Marshall stepped out of the chair and thanked the man; encouraging the passengers to do so as well. As the plane’s altitude increased from 700 feet to 900 feet to 1000 feet, Marshal was relieved to see the passengers beginning to return to their seats.

Calm, Marshal too returned to his seat and whipped out his travel guide and headphones. As he listened to ‘Mr Bluesky’, he reminisced about the good olde days when the sky used to be as blue as a hyacinth macaw. Looking out of the window, he saw clouds rapidly disappearing and the London skyline rapidly appearing. He froze. He couldn't stand up. He tried again but the resistance was too strong. His ears began to ache and the pain surged down his neck. Overcome by the Gs, he closed his eyes and said goodbye…BOOM. For a brief moment, he was knocked out cold.

Smashed glass was carried away by the waves; people now decorated the plane; parts of them missing, blood sloshed around his feet. He himself was covered in blood, writhed in immense pain as the salt water lashed at his deep wounds. Desperate to return to his family, Marshall reached for his life jacket. Bending over to grab it, he screamed violently. There she was. Dead.

What was Happening? Why was she there? Distraught, Marshall still remembered his duty. He’d trained all his life for this. He couldn't fail now.

He stood up. Adrenaline pumped in place of his blood. Lumbering to the cockpit, he gave up and collapsed. There they were. The pilots. Under the joysticks. Curled up like fetuses. Fear etched on their faces.
“I’ve seen parts of bodies sprawled across a field but nothing compares to these helpless, dead faces. Only a monster could have done this!”
Marshall took a deep breath, hit the SOS button and drew his gun from his holster. He kicked open the door which unveiled a battlefield.

Mothers hauled screaming children into the river. People had collapsed along the aisle whilst others prayed. Babies were bawling with their helpless arms outstretched for their mothers. Some weren't so lucky…

Marshall spotted him! There he was. Shooting helpless children. Laughing psychotically. Wading down the blood-ridden aisle, he spotted Marshall and let out a hideous guffaw.
“Hahaha! Bye bye sucker!”

The dangerous man loaded his weapon and aimed it at Marshall. He looked down the barrel and then he fell. The SAS had made it!. They shot him once and offered their gun to Marshall to finish the job. “ It's all yours sir.”
“Your reign of terror is over!” BAM! BAM! BAM! The soldiers had to pull him away. Marshal had gone into a frenzy. He wanted this man eradicated.
The bullet’s force knocked him back into the bathroom which he was never going to be able to leave again.

Leave a comment on who u think the murderer was

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    idk the "gin and tonic" thingy though, i know SOS and handbag but SAS had me confused a little with the thingy in KSP (gosh i havent played that in a while)
    @CaptainRex123 @Cyan

    3.9 years ago
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    its cool but i lost track after the second half

    3.9 years ago
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    6,867 Diver

    It has a good storyline, just a little incoherent (about 15% of the details don't make sense) it needs a revamp before publish - more descriptions and details, smoother flow, and a little realism.

    3.9 years ago
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    18.8k NexusGaming

    @FeatherWing same
    @CaptainRex123 BA had Tristars, Concordes, 727s (albeit operated by another airline, they were painted in the BA livery), 737s (again mostly operated by another airline but in their livery), a single Singapore half-livery Concorde, BAe 146s, BAe ATPs (possibly), and Tridents, just to give you ideas

    3.9 years ago
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    23.5k FeatherWing

    @CaptainRex123
    Go for it anyway, all my Aircraft on this site are fictional, yet I work them into real-life like they actually existed IRL.

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    Soz just I was just making a story, a fictional story @FeatherWing

    3.9 years ago
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    23.5k FeatherWing

    @CaptainRex123
    Wait no, I'm not being Ignorant, BA doesn't have the Fokker 50.
    It could be a Dash-8 or a Saab 340/2000

    3.9 years ago
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    30.0k TriStar

    There are some viewers from ex. indonesia, north america (they say purse instead of handbag there), and wherever else in the world that isn’t the UK @CaptainRex123

    3.9 years ago
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    23.5k FeatherWing

    @CaptainRex123
    If this was long enough, it could be an actual book.

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    Serious? Everyone knows SOS and handbag same as gin and tonic! @Cyan

    3.9 years ago
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    30.0k TriStar

    This has some terms some viewers may not know...

    SOS - Emergency term
    SAS - Special Air Service
    Handbag - purse
    Gin and tonic - cocktail

    3.9 years ago
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    23.5k FeatherWing

    @CaptainRex123
    I know this is fictional and all, but neither airlines have a Fokker 50, Ryanair only uses the 737.

    Edit: ignore me, BA does have the Fokker 50.

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    BA or RYANAIR? @FeatherWing

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    Just wanted to see what the crowd thought! @NotSoNormalPioneer

    3.9 years ago
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    23.5k FeatherWing

    @CaptainRex123
    Annnd..what airline is it?

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    Yeah I think a Fokker 50 @FeatherWing

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    Ha ha! It’s a regional flight so probs a Fokker @FeatherWing

    3.9 years ago
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    23.5k FeatherWing

    @CaptainRex123
    That is actually really good. Very creative indeed.
    (Just a question, but do you know what kind of aircraft they are in, or at least what type it is (Jet or prop)?)

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    No I didn’t. I meant proper publish @NotSoNormalPioneer

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    @Cyan do you think it’s good?

    3.9 years ago
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    4,039 RC1138Boss

    @ACEPILOT109 Should I?

    3.9 years ago