Well well well...
Greetings, once more.

It has been quite a while since my departure from SimplePlanes. School has taken up my life, and I’ve been looking around at colleges and I’ve narrowed down to two of them:
College of Lake County
Lewis University of Romeoville

Why? College of Lake County offers many types of degrees and places of experience if you’re looking for a job. I, in particular will be taking Culinary Arts. That is, if I choose CLC. However, Lewis University has one particular program that struck my interests; Aviation.

But enough about school... How have I been? Fine, I guess. I’ve noticed the base of SimplePlanes has moved onto a new “generation”, which to me is bittersweet. I loved to see the amazing builds SpiritusRaptor, SledDriver, mikoyanster, spefyjerbf, Feanor, realluochen9999, and a whole volley of others made. It’s sad to see them go, and not be as active as they used to be. But at the same time, I’m happy to see the new people come in and hopefully one day become as prosperous and famous as those legends once were and still are.

On a much tougher note, within the past 2 months I’ve lost 2 amazing friends to suicide. I never thought it’d happen to me, honestly. Their names were Amaya, and Christina. Christina wasn’t as close of a friend as Amaya was, but she still had an amazing impact on my life. She’d always be there when I needed help. She never seemed like the kind of girl to want to do such a thing... I sometimes blame myself for not noticing the signs...

Amaya was the literal light of my life. I lost her a month after Christina. She loved me, and I loved her. Her smile and laugh... So beautiful and insurmountable. She’d come to my house every week, Wednesday at 10:00 AM, on the dot. We would have so much fun playing games together or just talking. She did have to deal with anxiety and depression. I always tried my best to distract her from it, and I honestly feel like I failed, but at the same time, I had a sense I was just delaying the inevitable...

To try to deal with the pain, I’ve written a poem about my one friend Amaya. It goes like this...

The questions rapidly firing,
The face I struggle to see,
What went wrong in one moment?

“Hey, you ok?” A statement of truth and care,
“Yeah I’m fine.” A statement of untruth and carelessness,
What went wrong in one moment?

“Are you sure?” A concerned statement,
“Yes. I’m fine, don’t worry.” A faked statement,
What went wrong in one moment?

The answers I’ll never be able to get,
The words I’ll never be able to hear,
What went wrong in one moment?

I have too many words to say,
That can only express my grief,
What went wrong in one moment?

My palms drenched in sweat,
My body weak and crippled as I layed in bed,
What went wrong in one moment?

“Why? Why? Why?” A burning in the throat,
“Why! Why! Why!” A sudden rage comes upon,
What went wrong in one moment?

All the times that we have had together,
All the memories that were so real,
What went wrong in one moment?

“Just why did you have to do this to me…”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
What went wrong in one moment?

That tore us apart so suddenly,
My friend who used to be,
What went wrong in one moment?
As I write a poem,
One I’ll read again and again,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
But the roses are dead,
The violets as well.
The rain keeps going,
There’s no sight of an end.
The sun is no more,
Clouds as far as the eye can see.
Wrists stained red,
Eyes now cloudy.
Laying frozen,
Only memories now.
“Let us pray”, “Let us mourn”,
“A soul deprived of love.”
“Her beauty was insurmountable”,
“Her smile grand”.
“She just needed someone to notice”,
“How broken she really was”.
Only I can read the words you wrote,
So bitter and unforgettable; Agonizing.
“Please don’t cry, for I am now free. I love you, Silly Goose.”