Heres an idea; make a refueling tanker that utilizes a refuel boom instead of a line and drogue

Basic concept:
Have a bunch of FT code shoved into the boom that calculates where the refuel port is on target aircraft(more on that below), and have the code then again use various variable to point the boom toward the refuel port

Criteria:
Boom should be capable of actually refueling(not just for looks
Boom should be able to move on 3 axis; rotate left and right, up and down, and move like a piston forward and back.

How boom will calculate where your refuel port is
The tanker and boom will only be capable of refueling compatible aircraft(more later)
The cockpit of the tanker will be located at the base of rotation of the boom itself. The boom will find where(your aircraft)s cockpit is, and target that. Is will then calculate TargetElevation, TargetHeading and TargetDistance to find where to move the tip of its boom to

Boom compatible aircraft
Due to restrictions in ft, the tanker aircraft is only able to get positioning data on a cockpit block, and not say the refuel probe of and aircraft.
This system only works if your aircraft has its cockpit block moved to be right over the refuel probe.

Note
-having the cockpit moved over the refuel port shouldnt effect the performance of your aircraft: make sure to disable mass, drag, and collisions from your cockpit block

Update/Edit
For ai to target select your aircraft, you need to missile lock it and wait till is says “target aircraft has detected missile lock”

Im not sure if this has been done before, but this is what ive come up with and what i will be making tonight, along with a demonstration video.