To the tune of this

When I was just a little thing I used to love B-days
With banners, bands, red balloons and maybe free cake made
When I came back one B-Day a local father said;
"Them robots all take nommies, tell me bear are you a Fred?"
Well, I didn't know just what he meant, my fur back then was brown
Our stage was plain red felt like most others in the town
So I went and asked my fixer why the father called me Fred
My technic' took me to his bench and this is what he said;

Well you ain't done nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred
If you've munched or amputated, you're bound to hear it said
So you might as well ignore it, or love the word instead
Cause you ain't been doin' nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred

When we was blowin' up, had our troubles I suppose
When someone took exception to my face or to my nose
Or tried to cheat me on a gig or hit me on the head
When I jerked to life to bite back, why the stinkers called me Fred

But you ain't done nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred
If you've munched or amputated, then you're bound to hear it said
So you might as well ignore it, or love the words instead
Cause you ain't been doin' nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred

When I was roamin' on my own one patrol path that I had
Had a lousy rotten nightguard let me tell ya he was bad
But when he tried to shut me out I rubbed my hands and said
"You haven't seen a struggle if you haven't fought a Fred!

And you ain't done nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred
If you've munched or amputated, then you're bound to hear it said
So you might as well ignore it, or love the word instead
'cause you ain't been doin' nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred

Well I kept on amputatin', cause what else can you do?
You're gonna let the kids of bitches spill all over you
My friends said you'll get soon scrapped, biting with that toothy maw
I should be so lucky buddy, I ain't got a jaw

And you ain't done nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred
If you've munched or amputated, then you're bound to hear it said
So you might as well ignore it, or love the word instead
Cause you ain't been doin' nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred

Well I've been amputatin' now for twenty years or more
For songs or for floor cleaning fees and always seeking gore
I'll keep on amputatin' as far as I can see
And if that's what bein'a Fred is then It's good enough for me

'cause you ain't done nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred
If you've munched or amputated, then you're bound to hear it said
So you might as well ignore it, or love the word instead
Cause you ain't been doin' nothin' if you ain't been called a Fred