Yeeaaaahhh…

So, I’ve been the account manager for some time now, almost four years if I’m remembering right (note: I’m most probably not). I think I’ve done a pretty reasonable job on this website. Took a Bronze account all the way past 30k, which is a fine progression if I do say so myself.

Unfortunately,
The Brass, you know, the higher ups, the ones who call the shots, they disagree somewhat.

Just to be clear, I am not being replaced. My position as account manager is quite secure, and there are no alternative candidates ready to take my place (as far as I know. Bring your hopes down, Mckenzie).

Most of The Brass takes some degree of issue with my method of presentation. Crass, eccentric, deranged, blunt. All sorts of words. I say most because our CEO himself, Mr. Geminus, takes no real issue with my ways, but he’s a piece of work in his own right and is usually busy with Soian affairs (I.e. developing a form of golf using variable-yield nuclear weapons instead of clubs), so a lot of decision making is deferred to the rest of the top heads. Including this.

I could go into further detail myself, but I may as well just copy the Email they sent me the other day.

To: Grain G. Guy (Email address removed for security)
From: Graingy Executive Board

Hello, Guy.
As we’re sure you are aware, you, in your long tenure as the manager of the official Graingy SimplePlanes.com account, have developed a certain style in your engagements that have raised a few concerns among the members of our board.
This style could be described as highly personal, random, crass, oft off-topic, emotional, direct, etc.
We are, quite frankly, concerned that this conduct as the online face giving personality of our company could potentially be harmful to the nominal image of Graingy as an enterprise. We fully understand our close ties to Soia in the last few years, who have been well documented in behaving in manners much similar to your own interactions, however we would still like to stress that Graingy, despite its Soian ties, is still an relatively independent entity with its own operations, history, and popular image. We feel that bridging the two organizations’ popular perceptions in such a way may prove harmful to Graingy’s success in its own right.

This is all to say absolutely nothing of your behaviour on the company’s Reddit account, which seems to have very little in connection to Graingy proper. What the bursting qualities of alien teeth are under extreme temperatures appears to us dubiously important to the manufacture and sale of aircraft and other machinery, or at least what the public needs to know of such affairs. This such activity, as we understand it, is more closely tied to Graingy’s joint operations with Soia in the Imos Universe Cluster, a personal endeavour of Mr. Geminus with which we have little to no involvement or accurate information on. It is, to put it bluntly, a black budget with, from your implications, very disturbing ends. These “experiments”, or whatever you or Soia should call them, do not sound the sort of thing we need connected publicly to our company (or at all, but we reckon that’s a discussion for Geminus).

In summary, we are worried by your online conduct in our company’s name and, for fear of diluting our public image of purpose or failing to live up to the civil ideals we’ve long sought, ask you to please alter your behaviour on social media, at least when using accounts officially tied to Graingy. We do not have the permission to phrase this as an order, besides the fact that none of use are specialists in the intricacies of maintaining good public posture (not to jab, but frankly we question whether you are one either), so we send this as a request to change your ways, at least to some extent.

With concern, the Graingy Executive Board

So yeah, apparently I harsh their vibe or whatever.

I ain’t that bad, right? You can vouch for me doing a good job, yeah? Please.