When planes get damaged like a wing gets hit from below it would bend upward from its connection points. Also parts are less likely to explode. They would be more likely to snap off because very few impacts would cause a wing to explode on the spot. A wing would be more likely to rip off if a cannon or another wing hit it instead of just exploding.
If a prop strikes the ground it would bend in or out depending on their location if the blades were wood they would snap ripping blades in half essentially .
A fusalge would prabably bend or shatter from a impact but if it doesn't contain a fuel tank or any sort of engine chances are it's not going to explode.
Go play some IL-2Sturmovik if you want this kind of damages.
I think it wouldn't be as likely to lag if it's coded in a simple fashion. heres a example if the impact just changes the dihedral of the wing in till it hits a set max angle .When that max is hit or exceeded it would break off. That way it wouldn't affect performance and it would be easy on the devs. @Ihatelava123isacommunist