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I wrote a poem * cough it’s horrible * cough

34.5k Hayhayjam664  6.5 years ago

Tell me what you think 🤔

K

Hi

Um well here it is

The girl with the greasy hair

Running, running through a dark misty forest,
Running away from her demons, her shadow and her ghost a ghost of her former self,
The girl with that dark greasy hair,
She looks behind her to see her demons, her sadness that hid within, it drew close,
The bullies are nigh, very close indeed
Her breath, was now coming in short ragged gasps, always running, running from the bullies, running from her former self

She made the decision to jump, dive, fall, spin and reel down wards, three , down, two, down further still, one , splosh,
She crawled and scrambled up the sand and shale, in the water she saw
The beauty that lay within

She didn’t care how she looked, on the outside she was just the girl with the dark greasy hair, but within, is where the true beauty lay, her will to live and survive, through the resentment she was served and through the pain.
Now her life ebbing away, there was one boy who cried, tear drops dripping like rain, down onto her cheeks, she was the dark haired girl.

Lol I don’t butcher meat but I’m pretty good a butchering character poems or at least making horrible ones

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    34.5k Hayhayjam664

    XD@BaconRoll

    6.5 years ago
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    30.4k soundwave

    The girl with greasy hair
    Running, running to the shower

    +1 6.5 years ago
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    34.5k Hayhayjam664

    ok I will keep that in mind for next time XD, thank you for the upvote! :D @RailfanEthan

    6.5 years ago
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    not bad, but you gotta try using terms that isn't literal. So instead of saying bullies, rewrite it as something scary, like a dragon. It could look like this:
    She always was aware
    That some day the ravenous dragons lured
    Some breathe fire upon her
    Some saw her ran, but today
    Today was different
    She drew forth her sword,
    And never saw the dragons again
    And could carry on a normal day
    For the dragons were expelled

    +2 6.5 years ago