The Experimental Vehicles Division grabbed a whole bunch of junkyards without permission, plus a mob of screaming fanatics and a good batch of lawyers to get away without forgiveness either, and started working the shit out of the metal, until... Well, they got bored, of course, and scrap-booked the Quagmire DCCS Parasite blueprints in a big party, and then got some engineers to actually build it.

Well, Jesus, don’t ask me; I don’t have any say or sway with the EVD! I just tell everyone else to slam them when I need them to.

I told them NOT to slam the EVD for the illegal actions, and just had a secretary** drop in with a suitcase and walk out. Of course, security got summoned, and on the inside was the following message:

“Not a bomb, don’t worry. Make a civilian-useful trade ship, or get close.”

They would likely have firebombed anyone else; but since I was the glue of the company, they made a civilian-useful trade ship. You know how it’s civilian useful? It’s small, cheap, and efficient! No fuel at all, and ingenious thrust control methods using bi-actuator hydraulic actuation for increased range and ability to just about drop the fulcrum in the water. Hey, bomb threats go a long way! Especially for preventing stupid names like “water strider.”

That’s a big fat lie; I run the place and pay the bills.
*Kidding; that was me. You’ll never know, though.
Only as I see fit, or if the government makes me. Sometimes I ignore those silly swans. Hey, I’m a corporation, so I get to be really greedy!
*Only in my dreams. I’m not gonna stretch that by saying it’s true in your hearts as well*.

Oh, and don’t say I didn’t try with the asterisks.