Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?

You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Because every animal deserves a warm meal 😁
Dr. Evil

Just when you thought it wasn’t safe to go in the water, now it’s unsafe to go flying! With the worlds greatest killing machine becoming airborne it’s now time to be afraid…. VERY afraid, forget about getting a bigger boat you’ll need to have your itchy finger on the “send all nukes” button.

These monsters were captured and subjected to biological cybernetic experimentation creating the perfect killing machine used as an attempt to take over the world, but a free will problem with a number of the sharks led to the attempt being a failure, so the remainder were sold off to other evil villains.
With 140% muscle density increase and a quantum processor integrated into the shark’ brain sharpening it’s senses and reflexes by 200% makes for a formidable minion. What was that you said? Free will?!?!……. Oh okay, ya most of that part of the brain was removed, I think? We can’t have a snappy pet now can we!

The safest place to be right now is……

just kidding nowhere is safe!

User Manual for your recently purchased ‘Shark with a fricken laser’ below

The shark you have purchased is a flying and swimming shark, it is NOT a land shark and will not work on land! So your shark must be deployed in water or air for it to work!

Your shark has a base model Mk I 100Mw fricken auto-targeting tactical laser beam fitted with no upgrades purchased, so it may miss targets….. a lot. To activate the laser please PRESS 1 on your remote control to engage auto-targeting, oh what’s that…. It keeps missing targets? That’s a shame, you really should’ve upgraded to premium you cheapskate

General safety instructions

Do Not’s:

Put fingers near mouth
Feed after midnight
Look into its ‘eye’
Look at laser while operating (may cause blindness)
Immerse in water
Ride the shark
Take drugs

Do’s:

Dry shark well after each use
Wear gloves and cool sunnies
Stay sober
Feed after midnight
Give moral support to your maintenance team
Give your enemy prior warning to prevent injury

Don’t ask why, because reasons that’s why

Enjoy!!