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A List Of Things

7,513 SuperRoto  3.8 years ago

My friend sent me this:


20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8 Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh.

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  • Profile image
    24.1k BagelPlane

    @UltraLight ha ha ha jk

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    38.7k UltraLight

    @BagelPlane ahem*

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    24.1k BagelPlane

    The next time I get an annoying screenshot request I’ll make sure to ask if they want fries too.

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    2,020 2

    @SuperRoto hm

    3.8 years ago
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    59.7k PapaKernels

    The first one is the best one, if I could drive I would do that.

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    7,513 SuperRoto

    @Altaccount080 Would you like some fries with that in accordance with the prophecy?

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    2,020 2

    @UltraLight I want a bing bong 320

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    38.7k UltraLight

    @Altaccount080 do you want fries with that

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    2,020 2

    @UltraLight yes I want 727

    3.8 years ago
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    38.7k UltraLight

    I very much like this according to the scripture

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    38.7k UltraLight

    I very much like this according to the sctipture

    3.8 years ago
  • Profile image
    38.7k UltraLight

    @Altaccount080 do you want fries with that?

    3.8 years ago
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    2,020 2

    Yes

    3.8 years ago