Profile image

HOLY CRAP: A Totally Biased Guide To The Origins of 4th Generation Fighters

18.7k F104Deathtrap  3.4 years ago

It all started back in the early 1950's. America loved rock & roll, cars with big fins in the back, and nuking commies. So they hired North American Aviation to build the coolest, craziest commie-nuker of them all: the B-70 Valkyrie.

The Valkyrie was insane. It could fly over 3 times the speed of sound and it looked totally sweet. The Soviets were super pissed. They had to do something or America was going to nuke the crap out of them. They took their best jet, the Mig-21 Fishbed and fed it a ton of steroids. The results look pretty crazy, but it wasn't good enough.

Meanwhile, America cancelled the Valkyrie after only two of them had been built. Lame. But North American Aviation had learned a lot about building stupidly-fast aircraft, particularly, how to build really good air intakes called "variable geometry intake ramps." Remember that term, it'll be on the quiz. Anyway, North American used all their new braincells to build a second, more practical commie-nuker, the A-5 "Vigilante."

The Vigi was so totally awesome looking that everybody copied her layout for the next 50 years. Everyone except the French and the Swedes, who prefer canard deltas, which are totally lame, but I'm not allowed to talk about that. So anyway the Kremlin took one look at the Vigilante and got some ideas.

By taking the shape of the Vigilante (plus an extra fin, because two fins are better than one) and cramming in all they learned from the whole MiG-21-on-steroids thing, they built the fastest, craziest fighter ever. The MiG-25 "Foxbat." The Foxbat was thicc, look at those afterburners! She could go faster than mach-3 and looked totally cool.

The Pentagon totally pissed its pants when they saw the Foxbat for the first time. They took one look at those engines and those wings and thought it was some kind of super-jet that was going to take over the world. So they did the only sensible thing, the Pentagon stole their parents credit card and spent a bazillion dollars building their own mega-jet: the F-15 "Eagle."

Perhaps you've heard of it? The first production jet that could accelerate while going straight up? The greatest combat record in the history of aviation? It's kind of a big deal. Even better, it turned out that the MiG-25 was a little too thicc, all that extra weight meant it was about as maneuverable as a school bus. It was the birth of the 4th generation of fighters and a great time to love freedom.

But the Kremlin wasn't going to let America have all the fun. They sold all their vodka and hired evil scientists build a super-jet of their own. The Su-27 "Flanker."

Not only was the Flanker considerably more attractive looking than the Eagle but it could do this trick where the engines move around like fingers and make the plane go all spinny. They call it "super maneuverability" and anime-fans go crazy for it.

But the joke was on the USSR. Unlike the Pentagon, the Kremlin didn't have any rich parents to "borrow" money from. The Su-27 turned out to be so expensive that the Soviet Union collapsed.

THE END

  • Log in to leave a comment
  • Profile image
    11.5k shipster

    I saw it for the first time when I was little, I was distracted by another aircraft and I asked my dad where “the big plane” was...he said look up. I was right under it and I didn’t notice! The thing is an absolute MAMMOTH. Truly awesome @Default4

    3.3 years ago
  • Profile image

    @Default4 I am jealous!

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    26.2k Default4

    Got to to see the Valkyrie irl, crap was awesome

    +3 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    3,656 Dathcha

    Yep, plus there’s no point in trying to change someone’s opinion @PapaKernels

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    As weird as this is it is pretty accurate ngl.

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @Vincent If it is any consolation, your country exports excellent heavy metal.

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @dTitanplanesb Hubris and a long series of misunderstandings lead to the development of the definitive planes of the 4th generation of jet fighters.

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @AN2Felllla Mig-29, F-16, and F-18 were part of a push to develop less expensive alternatives to the Flanker, Eagle, Tomcat etc. Originally, the Soviets planned to keep the Sukhoi plane for domestic use only and export the Fulcrum but with the fall of the USSR, it became financially necessary to export the Flanker as well.

    This has basically ruined Mikoyan as their product is considerably inferior to the Flanker series but only slightly less expensive, causing most buyers to skip right over the MiG-29 in favor of the Sukhoi.

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    59.7k PapaKernels

    @Dathcha it looks stupid to me, but hey I'm not going to argue anymore, we all have different opinions, let's leave it at that.

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    Can someone tell me what I just read.

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    What about the Mig 29?

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    3,656 Dathcha

    It also looks cooler lol @F104Deathtrap

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    13.9k ChrisPy

    me and the bois going to pick up our variable intake ramp F-15s and nukes

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    Mod Vincent

    I'll pretend i didnt see that you called Swedish planes lame.

    +17 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @Dathcha The arched shape makes aerodynamic sense, and you can see it repeated on many supersonic aircraft. The B-70 in this post, for example. It's important to keep the line if thrust below the center of mass and the center of drag. Also, raising the cockpit provides better visibility.

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    3,656 Dathcha

    I honestly really love the look of the su-27. The way it’s kind of arched makes it look more smooth and aerodynamic @PapaKernels

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    59.7k PapaKernels

    @F104Deathtrap well yes but I just feel it's a bit over hyped, yes it's a pretty good jet, but like its ugly A.F., at least the americans make really slick designs, the su27 is just so janky, the cockpit sits higher than the engines, and its swoopy, like why? F15 is definitely way better. But we can all agree that the a10 is better than both of them.

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @PapaKernels I would say the Flanker is probably one of the 3 best fighters any country could buy. It might even be the best value, I don't know.

    I am so tired of seeing them on SP, but I have to admit that it's a beast.

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @LieutenantSOT The short answer is that history really is this silly sometimes. They hide it most of the time, try to make it look like the leaders always know what they're doing, but the blind lead the blind.

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    59.7k PapaKernels

    Su-27=overrated

    +2 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @Tully2 Sometimes you have to tone down the cri cri a little bit so that you can pump up the volume and finish strong with some cri cri

    +2 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    @Tully2 then how about you go “cri” about it

    3.4 years ago
  • Profile image

    russia based das rite

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    1,465 Tully2

    I give this a 7/10

    Not enough cri-cri

    +2 3.4 years ago
  • Profile image
    31.3k Mostly

    "BASED!"

    +1 3.4 years ago
  • Log in to see more comments