Headlines

WEATHER RADAR PETROL-BOMBED

In what was considered a pretty stupid thing to do, Lefantchi Crime Family loyalists petrol-bombed a radar operated by the Meteorological Office.
Loyalists were seen by SNC officers fleeing the scene after they rendered the radar "inoperable". The radar has been the source of the weather reports in this gazette for over a century.
Members of the public have declared the bombing "a dumb decision against public safety". Meanwhile, officers from the Special Branch have started surveillance. While the radar is being repaired, the source of the weather reports (riddled with interesting grammar) will be from the radar in Wright Isles.

SNC INTRODUCES ANTI-PETROL BOMBING TACTICS

If you know the SNC, the jackets they wear over their shirts and ties function as formal uniform, flameproof jacket, and flak vest at the same time.
Just this morning, officers were briefed on a tactic involving hosing down a petrol bomb while it's still in the air, to put out the flames. The tactics, designed as a countermeasure to the flames and the shards, have been criticized by the Lefantchi loyalists, with some mocking it.

Statement 1 (by Rosa "Razorteeth" Leone, 17-year-old Lefantchi loyalist):

"Hey, did you see those Snowstone flatfoots tryin' to play firefighter with our Molotovs? Talk about a wet blanket move! They think a little water can douse the fire in our hearts? Nah, we're the blazing inferno they can't extinguish!"

Statement 2 (by Isabella "Silk Fist" Russo, 19-year-old Lefantchi loyalist):

"Those Constabulary clowns really cracked me up with their water ballet routine. But let me tell you, we're the real showstoppers here! They can shower our bombs all day long, but we'll just keep rainin' hellfire on 'em."

Statement 3 (by Valentina "Viper Tongue" Moretti, 18-year-old Lefantchi loyalist):

"Hahaha! Did you see the Snowstone fuzz tryin' to cool down our fiery passion with their garden hoses? They're like pesky gnats buzzing around, thinking they can stop a hurricane. Well, guess what? We're the hurricane, and we're gonna blow 'em away, drenched or not!"

Statement 4 (by Mia "Dagger Lips" Russo, 16-year-old Lefantchi loyalist):

"Listen up, all you Snowstone stooges! Your little water parade won't wash away our loyalty to the Lefantchi famiglia. We're like phoenixes risin' from the ashes, and your wet antics ain't gonna dampen our spirits. So keep splashin' around, 'cause we'll keep throwin' those fiery bombs right back at ya!"

Statement 5 (by Sofia "Whisperblade" Lombardi, 17-year-old Lefantchi loyalist):

"Hah, the Snowstone coppers thought they had the upper hand with their fancy hoses. But newsflash, fellas, water ain't gonna put out our thirst for vengeance. You can try to play firefighters, but we're the ones holding the matchsticks, ready to ignite chaos. Enjoy your little shower party while it lasts!"
Meanwhile, Commissioner Joseph Kai Yao Sip, handling the riots, went wild with laughter when they realized they can put out the bombs in seconds. It all continued until the loyalists ran out of petrol bombs and had to retreat.

WEATHER

Brought to you by the Wright Isles Atmospheric Office

Weather forecast for Snowstone, hmm, brought to you by the radar operated by Wright Isles Atmospheric Office, hmm.
Clouds, we have. High up in the sky, they float, hmm. Peek-a-boo, they play with Mr. Sun, hmm. Sometimes shine bright, sometimes hide, hmm.
More surprises, there are! Fluffy clouds, we see, hmm. Like cotton candy, they appear, hmm. Spreading their fluffiness, they are. Yes, hmmm.
But wait, wait, wait! Turn gray, these clouds might. Grumpy, they become, hmm. Drips and drops from the sky, we may witness, hmm. Flood, it will not be. Just a sprinkle, it shall be, hmm. Keep you on your toes, it will.
Ah, the adventure begins! As the day goes on, gray clouds may decide to join. Snowflakes, they shall bring, hmm. Dancing and twirling from above, they will be. Transforming Snowstone into a winter wonderland, hmm.
Caution, caution! Building snowmen, be mindful. Shy, these snowflakes are. Briefly, they stay. Enjoy them while you can, hmm. Warmly dressed, you should be. Cold as a polar bear's nose, it will be outside.
Ready, Snowstone, are you? A wild weather ride awaits! Clouds, sprinkles, and snowflakes, mixed together they are. Like life, weather is, hmm. Unpredictable and full of surprises. Embrace, enjoy, and stay safe, you must, hmm.