@Graingy Good writing, bad clarity. It lost my attention halfway through; I'll still read what I have left but that was my immediate first impression. There seems to be a good amount of unclarified exposition early on and it does seem to later pickup, showing more stakes and making the dangers clear... But that's at-least 2 or 3 paragraphs in...
Fix? Start the entire thing with a few very powerful words that encapsulate what is about to happen.
Good riddance, old friend. I'm glad I got to compete against you to make the fastest possible cars in slow-mo mode and had a life changing time with you realizing people could love me for what I am. It's great to know that Pio's sidekick is fixing his life so much now...
I hope you've been enjoying Flyout, It's pretty cool!
Much love, Cerdd! <3
@ZerkkOtakuGuy welcome! And thank you. Also thank you.
Besides the point but it isn't my bday just yet. I released a bit earlier to try and line up with Malayasia time
@ThomasRoderick You know Zoa too? Also yeah, I am aware about the passing away of Gx. I've offered to help build up that universe and Zoa did not seem to mind
@ThomasRoderick I see, understood!
I am really grateful you went to such lengths just to help me out, thank you very much! I'll look into getting those fixes out as maybe a forum post in due time.
@MAHADI
For everyone else who skipped here, there are spoilers below. MAJOR spoilers.
company almost goes down but happens to find a genius pilot with a great mind and a grudge towards a brother from araucaria, who has a loving family and a daughter who makes employees happy while coming to work
One day he disappears and then re-appears with a revolutionary design weeks later. The approve of it and a prototype is made.
Meanwhile war is happening.
Man disappears again, plane prototype is gone too, little girl is crying, mom is crying, everyone is crying
Turns out it was him, does some bomber kills, some interceptor kills, becomes war hero, continues to do sorties
Does in a final battle against his brother who was plotting against him for a long time.
It is still long, but I tried to shorten it as much as possible, hope it helps!
@Graingy r/technicallythetruth 😭
I think that one didn't get much successors because it kinda became more venting towards the end of the description xD
Although, you'd probably be able to make that challenge work because retrofitting is an interesting concept. Also, to be fair, people were likely already doing Novaran, one of the reasons why I saw your post, but was already working on Quechal's Ghost
I didn't expect another bus so soon XD
+1@WritersCrusadersAirCo2 thank you :)
+1@ChaseplaneKLWith1MG You still goin strong, comrade?
+1@126
+1@LJh1
@jamesPLANESii
@LJh1 Cool car and cool name. Take my updoots
+1@WisconsinStatePolice Kindle Direct Publishing.
+1@ComradeSandman Agreed. Gonna keep that in mind for later chapters
+1@Graingy Good writing, bad clarity. It lost my attention halfway through; I'll still read what I have left but that was my immediate first impression. There seems to be a good amount of unclarified exposition early on and it does seem to later pickup, showing more stakes and making the dangers clear... But that's at-least 2 or 3 paragraphs in...
Fix? Start the entire thing with a few very powerful words that encapsulate what is about to happen.
+1@Graingy used to be but a tiny particle in sand
+1@Graingy I used to be a martian at some point
+1@Graingy mhm. Very fun being in meat hoarded buses, I tell ya.
+1@Graingy junior college, India.
+1College starts at 16 for us in mumbai
@Graingy I saw the first paragraph and I think the writing is well done.
+1@Graingy just returning from college. Will get back to you in around an hour or so.
+1@Graingy sure
+1@Graingy I don't know I just ended up typing away
+1@ComradeSandman No, really. I started at 11 in the morning then finished at 1am at night. I was really compassionate in those moments lol
+1@ThomasRoderick had a nice chuckle at that one
+1@ThomasRoderick what the fuck tom...
+1Good riddance, old friend. I'm glad I got to compete against you to make the fastest possible cars in slow-mo mode and had a life changing time with you realizing people could love me for what I am. It's great to know that Pio's sidekick is fixing his life so much now...
I hope you've been enjoying Flyout, It's pretty cool!
+1Much love, Cerdd! <3
@AluminiumFX Like you, friend. Thanks for the upvote!
+1@Mousewithamachinegun122 Thank you! and thanks for the spotlight over at the A-40 as well! That thing has a special place in my heart...
+1@ThomasRoderick We know
+1@Graingy You are so much like @ThomasRoderick 😭
+1@Graingy the EPS Morrayge is probably one of your best works
+1@ZerkkOtakuGuy welcome! And thank you. Also thank you.
+1Besides the point but it isn't my bday just yet. I released a bit earlier to try and line up with Malayasia time
@Graingy
+1Here it is... thanks for keeping me preoccupied in some insightful conversations btw!
@Speedhunter
+1@Harithesnakk
@GuardianAerospace
Some further requested tags.
Also
@Guyfolk
@Sadboye12
Guyfolk, thanks for so many great aircrafts. Especially thanks for that radar system. We used it here... hope you don't mind much!
And Sadboye12, you were part of the very first Echostar from what I know. It's come a long way since then... thank you!
+1@ZerkkOtakuGuy HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!! Hope it's going well bro!
+1@mousewithamachinegun
@Byardley
Requested tags
@Graingy https://www.simpleplanes.com/Forums/View/1454422/So-Jundroo-accidentally-added-1-part-custom-images-to-the-game
You'll find a link to planaria's opencv gen. Use that one
+1@Graingy Noted. Nimbus and wolfpaws can have their name changed... HyperV's are pretty cemented in the UPDF universe though...
+1@Speedhunter me love twin boom
+1@BYardley mhm.. well anyway, Thanks for dropping by! Hope to see you on 21st as well?
+1@BYardley Dang dude... I had no Idea!
+1Isn't the McLaren Senna made out of respect for him?
@GuardianAerospace Aight!
+1T if you wanna sit in it and have a cup of tea
+1@ThomasRoderick hey man! Fixed up some more stuff. Look above.
+1@Wisconsinstatepolice Thanks!
+1@OwnedPilot
+1@Shimamurahougetsu
Arigatou.
@ThomasRoderick You know Zoa too? Also yeah, I am aware about the passing away of Gx. I've offered to help build up that universe and Zoa did not seem to mind
+1@ThomasRoderick Hey, made the changes... although for some reason it slowed the plane down by a bunch
+1@ThomasRoderick it works flawlessly.
+1@SKLV95
+1@OPAITAON
@KHANHLAM
Thank you peeps!
@ThomasRoderick I see, understood!
+1I am really grateful you went to such lengths just to help me out, thank you very much! I'll look into getting those fixes out as maybe a forum post in due time.
@Axartar those will be hard to do well now though.
@MAHADI
For everyone else who skipped here, there are spoilers below. MAJOR spoilers.
company almost goes down but happens to find a genius pilot with a great mind and a grudge towards a brother from araucaria, who has a loving family and a daughter who makes employees happy while coming to work
One day he disappears and then re-appears with a revolutionary design weeks later. The approve of it and a prototype is made.
Meanwhile war is happening.
Man disappears again, plane prototype is gone too, little girl is crying, mom is crying, everyone is crying
Turns out it was him, does some bomber kills, some interceptor kills, becomes war hero, continues to do sorties
Does in a final battle against his brother who was plotting against him for a long time.
It is still long, but I tried to shorten it as much as possible, hope it helps!
@Graingy r/technicallythetruth 😭
I think that one didn't get much successors because it kinda became more venting towards the end of the description xD
Although, you'd probably be able to make that challenge work because retrofitting is an interesting concept. Also, to be fair, people were likely already doing Novaran, one of the reasons why I saw your post, but was already working on Quechal's Ghost
@Graingy it's just a plane that you'd make
@TheUltimatePlaneLover here